Yesterday I had my very first intense freak out. After church I got into my car and started crying. I think I got even more freaked out because I couldn't figure out why had been upset all morning or why I was in hysterics driving up Glenstone. Safe, right?
I was supposed to go visit a seminary in St. Louis yesterday but I just couldn't do it. The idea of going there made me feel like my brain was going to explode. Not that I don't want to visit, because I do. It was just the timing. I called my mom, while driving and crying - again, how safe am I? I told my mom I couldn't go and I'm pretty sure I freaked her out too because I couldn't tell her why I was so upset because I didn't know.
After sleeping most of the day yesterday, I came to the realization that I've been trying to do too much lately. Every week I work 3 jobs, go to 17 hours of classes and when I'm not working or in class I'm trying to get my mountains of homework done. I've filled up the past 3 weekends with activities. Basically I haven't had any time to myself.
The strange thing is that I'm doing stuff I want to do... I'm just doing too much of it, I think.
After sleeping for 4 hours yesterday and then sleeping about 9 hours last night, I'm feeling much better, not 100%, but better than I was.
I'm going to start saying no to things. I'm going to reclaim my Saturdays. I'm going to get my homework started before 11:00 at night so I get a full night of sleep. I need to take better care of myself.
Please hold me accountable to this.
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1 comment:
It's a hard lesson to learn that it's okay to take time for yourself.
I know I learned it the hard (very similar) way.
But good for you for setting aside time for yourself. Keep it up! :-D
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