A Meme About My Favorite Activity: Sleeping!

1) How do you sleep at night?
Is your sleep affected by the national angst? Do you drop off easily, as you always did? Or does it take a while to get to sleep?

I've always been a great sleeper. Unless I'm incredibly stressed out (school is usually the biggest culprit), or I've had one of my weekends of marathon sleeping (i.e., this last weekend when I slept 13 hours Friday night and then took a nap Saturday afternoon), I sleep very well every night. 

2) What strategies, if needed, do you use to get to sleep? Pills? Sheep? Late night television shows? And/or...?

I have my nightly routine that I do every night before bed: put on my PJs, take out my contact, brush my teeth, wash my face, take my allergy medicines, set my alarms, crawl into bed, and then I read something not school related for 15 minutes to an hour depending on when my eyelids close themselves. Lately, I've been re-reading the Twilight Saga over and over. Say what you want about those books, but they're a fun read and there are some pretty steamy parts too. Even though I do have this routine, I could probably just curl up on my bed every night and drift off with no problem at all. I don't get enough sleep during the week and I just plain love sleeping so once 11:00 comes around, I'm counting down the minutes until I'm done with my homework so I can go to my beloved bed.

3) Do you wake up in the middle of the night, plagued by obsessive thoughts?

I rarely wake up until my first alarm goes off in the morning. If I do, it's usually because I have to use the bathroom. Unless I'm sick, I almost never wake up for any reason other than to pee.

4) What strategies do you have to get back to sleep?

Well, since waking up because I'm distressed is a rarity, I don't really have any techniques. I usually just pull my covers closer around me and close my eyes again. Insomniacs probably hate me.

5) Are your dreams affected? Are they more anxious than before? Do they wake you up in a sweat? Or are they peaceful, innocent, undisturbed by the general malaise?

Confession time: I rarely have/remember dreams. I'm sure I do dream in the night, but I almost never remember them. On the rare occasions when I do have dreams that I remember vividly, they are usually scary ones. But the last real scary dream that I can remember was almost a year and a half ago. That dream woke me up and I started crying, but like I said, that's a really rare occurrence. Usually when I have dreams that I remember, they occur during that time when I'm about to wake up but haven't completely become fully conscious yet -- when I'm in a sort of asleep/awake limbo. 

I think the biggest reason I don't ever remember my dreams is because I'm a very heavy sleeper. Just ask my former roommates and fellow RAs. I've almost slept through fire alarms, tornado sirens, not to mention all the phone calls I've missed while I was sleeping even though my ringer was on the highest volume my phone has. In order to wake up in the morning, I set 4 alarms. I set my actual alarm clock, which I purchased because it was the loudest one the store had, for the latest possible time I can get up in the morning so I'll have plenty of time to get ready and be on time for class and/or work. That alarm is placed on my dresser, across my bedroom from my bed so I actually have to get up to turn the horribly loud alarm off. Then I set 3 alarms on my cell phone in 1o minute increments up to the time that the big alarm will go off. I usually wind up cuddling my phone in bed with me while these alarms go off one-by-one. Some mornings, much to my dismay, I don't even remember my phone alarms going off, but know they did because I wake up to my big alarm with my cell phone in my hand or on the pillow next to me.

My good buddy Lindsey tagged me in this so I thought I'd be a good blogging-friend and do it. I'm also supposed to mention the original blog from which she got this idea: here it is.

Blessed REassurance

Two weeks ago I received this scary letter:

"Dear Kassandra,

As a part of the evaluation process, the first-level faculty met to review the academic progress of first-level students in their degree program. The faculty identified some concerns about your progress.

Please schedule an appointment in the Academic Office to discuss with me the concerns and resources available to you.

Grace and peace,

Dean Krause"

Ok, so I was terrified. I did pretty well in my classes last semester, with the one exception being Biblical Studies I because there were so many readings assigned I couldn't keep up so I just stopped trying. Needless to say, I passed all of my classes with two As, one B, and that pesky C in Bib. Studies. I knew that the concern couldn't be about my grades, but I had no idea what was going on. So like the good little girl I am, I immediately went to the Dean's office and set up an appointment for today at 11:oo. 

Turns out, the Dean just wanted to meet with me because some of my professors (but not all) had said in the evaluations that I was "too quiet" and "reserved." She was worried that I didn't feel a connection to the school, what I was learning here, and the community. She was right.

Last semester was really rough. I had a hard time focusing on the purpose of my being at Eden because I was so sad about, and still processing, the transition from Drury to grad school. It was hard to throw myself into this beautiful community I'm now a part of when I felt so sad about leaving my friend/family at Drury. Added to my sadness was the fact that I didn't have enough time in the day for work, school, my Contextual Education, and studying. It was nearly impossible to keep up with all of my obligations.

I told her that I had a I lot of regrets about last semester and that I was committed to changing and bettering my experience here at school. I realized over Christmas break that I was over-working myself and that I needed to make some changes. So I quit my babysitting job because the time commitment was too much and their home was too far away, even though I loved the kid and was sad to have to end it. As my New Year's resolution and Lent "whatever" I am committing myself to not skip any classes this semester and I'm making myself read at least one-third of every assigned reading. And, even though I'm not going to go out and join any committees or anything because that would just take more of the time I just got back in the week, I'm going to try to be more active or at least present on campus. I started working in the library and I've found that it is just what I need. My classmates are there all the time so I get to talk and interact with people and it's a low-key job where I can do homework when all of the books are shelved. Plus, I get paid more there than at the babysitting gig.

I told her I was trying to make changes and she reassured me that she had noticed that I'd been around more in chapel (because I actually have time to worship now... at seminary... crazy, right?), and in the library. The Dean was glad that I'd realized I needed to change things for myself and handled it. But she reminded me that the next time I find myself feeling disconnected or upset about how things were going, I should talk to her or my advisor because they are there for me.

Wow. I am so blessed to be at a school where professors and other faculty and staff actually care how I'm doing, not just based on grades, but in a holistic way. 

When I walked into the Deans office this morning, I was terrified. I left ten minutes later feeling reassured that I was in the exact place I needed to be to learn how to be a good minister. Isn't it great to say that some of your best examples of kind and compassionate ministers are your professors and school administration? It's good to know that they're looking out for me and actually care how I'm doing.

Thank God for Eden Theological Seminary.